For years and years I have lived in survival mode. Gasping for breath every day.

Trying to prepare for every possible outcome so I’m not caught off guard.

Trying to control the responses and reactions of everyone I encounter.

Showing up as the woman I believed everyone would accept.

Putting myself last on the list of peoples’ needs I needed to meet.

Clutching to breadcrumbs. Any bit of love would do. Desperation.

Anything to fill this gaping hole. No peace. No joy. No rest.

Now I sit here. Finally in the freedom that was always mine.

Finally seeing me. Finally releasing burdens I was never meant to carry.

I sit here full of joy. Not because anything has happened but because the Lord has filled my heart. Healed my heart. Sealed up the cracks with His love and grace.

And I ask the Lord, what next? What do you want me to do now?

Live.

Live free.